The Spiritual Discipline of Being “With”

By Rev. Brian Janssen

My biggest issue in ministry has always been my struggle with Spiritual Discipline. I am sure many of you have the same issue. You know how this struggle goes…we find a devotional or a practice we like and we try and stick to it as best we can for as long as we can (for me this has been anywhere from two weeks to a year). But then we lose interest…maybe the words of what we are reading don’t fill us like they used to, perhaps the accountability group we were a part of has split up (that actually happened to me), or usually we just can’t find the time.

I would like to suggest a practice we can all get involved with so that we might be more attentive to being “with” one another and with ourselves. It doesn’t take long and I have found it can be very helpful. Please know that this is one of those disciplines I have done and fallen away from at times, that’s a confession I want to make. At the end of the day before you go to sleep check in with yourself on the following questions, you can do this with your husband or wife as well: How have you seen God’s grace at work in your life today? Where were you personally able to show grace to someone? When did you have an opportunity to show grace and failed to do so? When did you need someone to be gracious to you and they weren’t or why were you unwilling to tell them you needed grace? These questions can be answered quickly and honestly. By doing this you will begin to see that even in the midst of life’s troubles your life is filled with the grace of God. You will also become more aware of how you can be more gracious yourself.

This personal discipline is easily translated into a conversation which the former dean of Duke Chapel encouraged his congregation to have during a week in Advent. I would encourage you to have the same conversation sometime in the next month. You can do this with a family member or at a meeting or even during a Bible study. The four parts of the conversation are this: “Tell me about the ways in which you are rich;” “tell me about the ways in which you are poor;” “let me tell you about the ways I am rich;” “let me tell you about the ways I am poor.” You will be amazed at how much your daily discipline leads into this conversation so that you are able to actually be with the person in front of you. It is not about fixing the person or hoping against hope that they finally “get it” or begin to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. It will be about finding your story in their story and vice versa. You will both find that God’s grace is not as distant as was once thought. And you will see that God is nearer to us than we ever thought possible.